Tuning in to Kids® (TIK) was the first of our parenting programs. It teaches parents and carers skills in emotion coaching. Emotion coaching as defined by John Gottman is a way of responding to emotions that can help children to understand, regulate and work through their emotions so that they manage their behaviour and respond in socially appropriate ways. In particular, the program teaches parents to notice children’s emotions, especially before emotions have become overwhelming for the child. Parents and carers are encouraged to accept, validate and empathise with their child’s emotions, help reflect upon or name the emotions being experienced, and if necessary, assist the child to work through the emotion and problem solve.

When parents and carers respond to children’s emotions in ways that validate and accept emotions but still guide them with appropriate behaviour, children learn important skills in emotional intelligence. Over time children use these skills in all aspects of their lives. Emotional intelligence helps children to be more resilient so that when they face challenging experiences they can talk about their feelings and work through these experiences. Emotional intelligence helps prevent mental health problems, and learning these skills can reduce mental health difficulties if they are occurring.

TIK teaches parents and carers skills in being aware of how they express their own emotions when parenting. Parenting (and life) can be emotionally challenging at times, and many parents benefit from reflecting on the ways they cope and manage their emotions. Children watch and copy how the people who raise them express emotions and so it is an important part of what benefits children. By learning to use emotion coaching skills, many parents and carers find their children talk to them more, want greater contact with them, and share more of their emotional experiences with them.